So Marc Stein is not basketbawful reader. Not surprisingly given the nature of this blog and the fact that Marc Stein is the huge NBA player ass-kisser
How disappointing. I don't claim that we invented the nickname, since I'm sure 800 other people have used it at some point or another (it's so obvious!). However, how can you be that out of touch, Stein? I called him out on Twitter -- we'll see if he responds.
If I had to guess which game would have a picture like this...
I guess the phrase "For Nothing" is implied in that poster?
"Been awhile since I celebrated, don't remember how, gotta concentrate..."
Nationally Televised Games: Mavericks at Heat, NBA TV, 7:30pm: Just a reminder: the last time these teams met was the "LeBron bumps into Spoelstra" game. Revenge game possibilities, anyone?
All the Other Games: Magic at Hawks, 7pm: Hey Orlando, I'm truly sorry, but I have to say it: Ball.
Jazz at Cavaliers, 7pm: The Jazz have gotten into the "zig-zag" pattern that Vegas sharps love to bet in the playoffs. Win one, lose one. Win one, lose one. Do they not realize they have a few months to go before it's even time for the playoffs? Anyone looking for a last-minute Christmas gift for the Jazz, get them a calendar.
Hornets at Pacers, 7pm: Let's just say this game isn't giving me the itch to order NBA League Pass.
Bobcraps at Wizards Generals, 7pm: All right, Washington. You finally got rid of Gilbert Arenas' awful contract! And in return you got... Rashard Lewis' likewise awful contract and five to seven fewer points per game. Hurray? Well, less chance of gun-related arrest action, so you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Suns at Spurs, 8:30pm: When I first saw the news about the Suns/Magic trade, I was disgusted. Then the more I thought about it, I began to convince myself maybe it's not the end of the world. They're not a championship contender this year anyway. Why not get rid of Hedo and his contract for any other warm body? Plus, Pietrus's catch-and-shoot threes are a good fit and maybe he can play some defense, and Gortat could give them the inside presence they need if he can handle playing lots of minutes. And Vinsanity's an expiring contract from what I understand, so maybe that won't be too bad? Am I just delusional and lying to myself at this point?
Bucks at Frail Blazers, 10pm: We have officially reached the point where it's nearly impossible to come up with new ways to say "the Blazers are a goddamn trainwreck of injuries."
Rockets at Warriors, 10:30pm: Good news, Houston fans! The Rockets have won seven of their 10 games this month. Bad news? They're still three games under .500 at this point. If they were in the Leastern conference, that wouldn't be so bad. Unfortunately, that is not the case.
Timberwolves at Clippers, 10:30pm: The Clippers have stopped being who we thought they were for a brief time, and are riding a two game winning streak. National media begins referring to them as "surging" in three... two... one...
And this was one of the Bulls' better moments last night.
The Chicago Bulls Defense: This ball-buster can be summed up by one simple stat:
16-for-24.
That's what the Bricks, er, Knicks shot from three-point range last night. For those of you who enjoy simple math, that's a 66 percent rate of accuracy.
Can you say "outlier"? No, really. Let's compare that to how well New York shot threes in their first three games: 7-for-24 (29 percent), 9-for-27 (33 percent) and 7-for-28 (25 percent). As a whole, that's 23-for-79 (29 percent).
So...yeah. Still, you'd think that, at some point, the Bulls would have come at them with some aggressive hand-to-the-face action, right?
Wrong.
Then there was the whole Danilo Gallinari situation. Check out the kid’s game log. Going into last night's game, he had scored a total of 18 points on the season while going 5-for-25 (20 percent) from the field and 2-for-11 (18 percent) from downtown. Against the Bulls, Gallinari scored 24 points -- 21 in the first half -- on 7-for-11 (63 percent) shooting, including 4-for-4 (100 f**king percent) from beyond the arc.
It doesn't stop there. It's just getting started.
In all fairness, Toney Douglas had been playing better than Gallinari. He'd scored a total of 32 points in New York's first three games while going 14-for-28 (50 percent) from the field...although only 3-for-12 (25 percent) from three-point range. Last night, Douglas wet 9-for-14 (64 percent) from the field and 5-for-9 (55 percent) on threes. He finished with a career-high 30 points.
Said Douglas: "I make sure that every time I shoot it that I have confidence that it’s going in. I can miss 10 in a row. I’m going to shoot the next one and make it."
Allen Iverson would be proud. But I can guarantee Tom Thibodeau isn't.
The crazy thing is, it's not like the Bulls weren't playing any D. They held New York to 42 percent shooting (24-for-56) inside the arc (thanks largely to Amar''''''e Stoudemire -- see below). Yes, they were slow to rotate on several three-point attempts. And some rotations were missed entirely. But several of those threes were contested. The Knicks were just unconscious. Raymond Felton -- a 32 percent career three-point shooter -- went 4-for-6. Bill Walker and Landry Fields each went 1-for-1.
It was demoralizing. Especially at the end of the first half, when everybody in a Bulls uniform looked shell-shocked. What can you do when your opponent is shooting beyond lights out? Every Chicago run was answered by another three-pointer or two or three or...they just kept coming. Next thing you know, the Bulls were leaving their feet, reaching in, and hacking their way to giving up 29 free throw attempts.
The Knicks were even on fire from the line, going 24-for-29 (82 percent) after shooting 18-for-27 (66 percent) and 14-for-25 (59 percent) in their previous two games.
The Bulls further hurt their cause with careless passing, giving up 26 points off 20 turnovers. The starters combined for 14 of those turnovers. Don't get me wrong. The extra passing was leading to offense -- Chicago had 27 assists on their 42 buckets -- but you don't want it leading to offense for the other team too.
Well, that's what happened last night. Especially during the final minutes of the second quarter. With the Knicks leading by 20-ish and closing in on a 70-point first half, the Bulls looked sluggish and confused, leading to one of the worst four-possession sequences I've ever seen: Possession 1: Noah was called for a three-second violation. Possession 2: Gibson traveled. Possession 3: Deng had the ball stolen by Gallinari. Possession 4: Deng committed an offensive foul.
The saddest part of the whole mess is that Thibs had to bench Deng, Noah and Rose to fire up his team. And Chicago's reserves very nearly made a game of it. A three-pointer by Korver cut New York's lead to 95-87 with 11:21 to go in the fourth. Of course, Douglas nailed a trey on the Knicks' next possession.
That's just the kind of night it was for the Bulls.
The New York Knicks defense: Let me be clear about this: The Knicks beat the Bulls because they drilled nearly 70 percent of their three-point attempts. They didn't win because of their defense.
The Bulls actually had a great offensive night themselves, shooting 52 percent from the field and nearly 50 on threes (9-for-19). Derrick Rose was great (24 points, 14 assists), Kyle Korver was on fire (18 points, 7-for-10), Taj Gibson was hitting on all cylinders (18 points, 10 rebounds) and Joakim Noah was Joakim Noah (12 points, 13 rebounds, 3 assists, 2 steals, 2 blocks).
Sure, the Knicks had 12 steals, but a lot of those were the results of really sloppy passes by the Bulls.
Amar''''''e Stoudemire: Before the game, the TNT crew (Ernie, Kenny and Charles) were discussing STAT's season-to-date. I don't remember the exact quotes, but I believe Ernie asked whether Stoudemire misses Steve Nash on offense, and Kenny replied that Nash was missing Amar''''''e more.
Really?
Sure, Stoudemire came into the game averaging over 20 PPG. But he was also shooting 45 percent...down from almost 56 percent last season and 54+ percent for his career. Against the Bulls -- and on a night when seemingly every other Knicks player had it going -- STAT went 5-for-21 (23 percent). All that three-point shooting should have opened up the inside for Amar''''''e to g to work, right?
In theory. And if Stoudemire had actual inside moves and stuff. His entire post-up menu seems to be composed of 1) beat defender off the dribble or layup or dunk, and 2) fumble around the paint until I can force up an awkward jumper/scoop/chuck/etc.
But hey, at least he had 8 turnovers and 6 personal fouls.
Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith, quote machine: While discussing Amar''''''e:
Chuck: "What do you call a power forward averaging 7 rebounds a game?"
Kenny: "A small forward."
C.J. Watson: 1-for-7 and rapidly losing confidence in his jumper. As well he sould be.
Derrick Rose's respect for human life: Out of the Bulls many lowlights against the Knicks comes this one highlight: D-Rose trying to destroy anyone within a five-foot radius of the rim. Thanks to AnacondaHL for providing linkage.
And now again in HD...with replays:
Eddy Curry sighting: Did you know: Eddy Curry's $60 million contract was simply a clever ruse by Isiah Thomas to sign LeBron James? I'm dead serious. More on this below.
Admit it. You just squeed.
Ozzie Guillen: With no regard for human life fashion.
The Portland Trail Blazers: I can't bust on the Frail Blazers too much.
Typical of this team's luck, they were already minus two centers (Greg Oden and Joel Przybilla) before Fabricio Oberto retired on them (see below). Portland also announced on Thursday that rookie Elliot Williams is likely out for the season because of surgery to repair a dislocated right patella. Oh, and then Rudy Fernandez missed the game because of back pain.
So it's not too surprising they were outlasted by the Thunder.
Still, Portland coach Nate McMillan thought his team wimped out a little bit: "I just think we settled. I thought there were lanes to drive and get to the basket against this team. There were a few times where we settled for the jump shot. We shot the ball well in the first half. In the second half, we continued to rely on the jump shot as opposed to attacking, being aggressive, playing from the inside out. We played on the perimeter tonight."
Reality check: The Blazers outscored the Thunder 50-34 in the paint. According to the shot chart, they attempted 28 layups. According to Hoopdata, NBA teams average 22.3 shots at the rim per game...and Portland averages 22.6. Of course, Oklahoma City currently leads the league in giving up shot attempts at the rim (31.0) and their opponents shoot the ninth-highest percentage from that range...so maybe Nate has a point.
Seattle Super Sonics fans: I appreciate their pain. I do. But at this point, it's kind of like Mike Tyson asking for another shot at Buster Douglas.
Isiah Thomas: Has the man lost his mind? The answer is "yes" of course, but I'll let you be the judge. From ESPNNewYork:
Isiah Thomas thought he would be dead by age 20, so at 49 he offers no apologies for betting on himself. Exiled in Miami, haunted by his proximity to LeBron James, Thomas embraces his articles of blind faith like one would a baby in a storm.
Isiah believes James (and perhaps Dwyane Wade) would be starting for the New York Knicks if Isiah had remained president of the team.
Isiah believes he can recruit James out of Miami and into Madison Square Garden in 2014.
Isiah believes that, with or without James, he will someday help the Knicks win their first NBA title since 1973.
"I want to be on the float and I want to get my ring," Thomas said.
Whaaaaaa...? But wait. There's more.
Asked if he hopes to replace Donnie Walsh whenever the 69-year-old Knicks president retires, Thomas said, "Every single day of the week.
"When I look at my GM/executive record, if I'm evaluated on that, then whoever's after Donnie, if you're not talking about some of the top people in the game, I'll put my draft evaluation record up against anyone's."
Not done yet.
Vin Baker, Jerome James, Jared Jeffries.
There's no defending that, and Thomas knows it.
"But there were 24 All-Stars last year," he said, "and I left New York with two of them, David Lee and Zach Randolph. Jamal Crawford became a sixth man of the year."
Thomas believes injuries cost the Knicks a playoff appearance in 2007, the year he replaced Brown on the bench. "Before the trial," he said, "people weren't saying bad things about the Knicks. They were saying, 'Watch out for the Knicks.'"
Yeah, as in: "Watch out, whatever nasty shit they have all over them might get on you."
Here's the best part though.
Thomas said he needed to make the trade for Stephon Marbury to resuscitate a dead franchise. He blamed Brown for moving Trevor Ariza in the deal to acquire Steve Francis. Surrendering the draft picks that became LaMarcus Aldridge and Joakim Noah for Curry?
Curry played at a high level for Thomas for a bit, but soon enough devolved into a symbol of everything that went wrong between Seventh and Eighth avenues.
"There was a method behind the madness," Thomas said. He was confident Curry would opt out in 2010 to clear the necessary space for a fellow client of Leon Rose, name of LeBron James.
"My instincts always told me LeBron would be great in New York," Thomas said. "I remember talking to Jerry West about when he was going after Shaq and how he mortgaged the team and what he went through. I kept saying to Jerry, 'I think if I position this right, I'll have a shot at LeBron.'"
So let me get this straight. Wildly overpaying for Eddy Curry was all part of Isiah's master plan to bring King Crab to New York. He can't be serious. He just can't. It's not medically possible to be that retarded...is it?
Okay, I might have been wrong. This is probably the best part.
"In Toronto, Indiana and New York," Thomas said, "I've never actually gotten fired for a basketball reason."
Fun fact: During Isiah's reign of terror as the New York's President of Basketball Operations, the Knicks went 151-259 -- including 56-108 during his two-year stint as head coach -- and had zero playoff appearances. But he's never been fired for "a basketball reason."
Heart problems: They've robbed us of the Fabulous Oberto, who has officially retired because of a cardiac condition that caused heart palpitations and, presumably, totally awesome hair.
In a statement, Oberto said: "I made this decision to put my health and my family in front of basketball. It was a tough decision to make after playing for so many years, but it was the right one."
We at Basketbawful wish Oberto -- and especially his hair -- well.
Lacktion report: Chris had one brief entry from the Thunder-Blazers game: "Cole Aldrich combined currency for a 4.1 trillion (4:08) celebratory collection!"
"If I sit here quietly without moving, maybe nothing will break for a change..."
The Portland Trail Blazers: Let's take a quick peek at Portland's Defensive Fail checklist:
Point 1: Let opponent shoot 60+ percent at a team.
Check!
Point 2: Surrender a whopping 27 fast break points.
Also check!
Point 3: Give up 48 points in the paint to a team with no inside scoring threats (Carlos Boozer is still out with a busted claw).
Very check!
Point 3: Allow a perennial underachiever (Luol Deng) to set a new career-high in scoring (40 points) while shooting at a blistering rate (14-for-19 from the field, 3-for-5 from downtown, 9-for-11 from the line).
Double super ultra check!
Said Portland coach Nate McMillan: "We definitely need to play with more energy. Our first unit gave up 32 points in the first and third quarters. Defensively, I think we're playing soft."
Portland's defense: Roast 'em, toast 'em, or just munch 'em!
By the way, this loss shouldn't have come as much of a surprise. Not to anybody paying attention anyway. Sure, the Frail Blazers entered the game 3-0, but two of those wins were against the Clippers and Knicks, and New York was playing on the second night of back-to-backs after a close loss in Boston the night before. And Portland had to come from behind in all three wins.
I'm just sayin'.
Portland's three-point shooting: This deserves its own entry: The Blazers entered the game ranked first in three-point percentage (45%) and then went 0-for-14 from beyond the arc. Memo to the Portland shooters: You're supposed to aim at the rim, guys. The rim.
Update! "We're not gonna go 82-0" Watch: From Basketbawful reader Andrei: "Good thing the Blazers lost, otherwise they might have gone 82-0 and never gotten any better." The quote:
"I think it's kind of good to get that whole 3-0 thing out of the way," Roy said. "Now we won't be playing to that, instead of playing to get better. We can put that behind us: The season has started now."
Update! Luol Deng, truth machine: Regarding his career night (via Basketbawful reader Heretic): " think it's just a coincidence."
Neil Funk, unintentional dirty quote machine: From Basketbawful reader Mike G: "And Rose with some thrust!" I could actually assemble an entire archive of dirty quotes for all the times Funk and Stacey King thrill to Rose's penetration.
The Toronto Raptors: Even though they were playing in their home opener, the Purple Paupers fell behind 33-16 in the first 12 minutes. During the third quarter, they were still down 16 and Tyreke Evans was in the locker room with a timid vagina tummy ache.
The situation certainly looked grim.
However, the Kings were playing the Craptors. And against the Craptors, no deficit is ever safe. Sure enough, Evans made his Willis Reed-like return and the Sactowners came back for a win that lifted their record to 3-1.
Historical note: It's the first time the Kings have opened the season winning three of their first four games since 2003-04.
Reality check: The Sactowners have been down by double-digits in all three of their wins. And their first four opponents have been the Timberwolves, Nyets, Cavaliers and Craptors. And they lost to the Nyets. Their next game? Against the Lakers.
Sorry to be a wet blanket and all. I'm just sayin'.
Bonus video: Watch the Craptors unveil their patented "Stand and Watch" defensive scheme:
Sacramento's first half defense: During the first two quarters, the Craptors shot 58 percent and scored 62 percent. Have you seen their roster? That shouldn't happen unless the opposing team has been swallowed by the earth.
Tyreke Evans, sick machine: "I drank a lot of fluids and felt a little sick, but I went out there and played." Uh, what kind of fluids were you drinking, Ty?
Speaking of Evans, he's nearly unstoppable when allowed to take extra steps:
Paul Westphal, quote machine: "If I had my choice between the first and second half, I would take the second half."
Oh, what a wonderful world this would be if we could pick and choose our own basketball reality. For instance, if I had my choice between the first 3.5 quarters of the 2010 NBA Finals and the final six minutes, I'd take the first 3.5 quarters. Boom, baby! The Celtics just won the title!
The Los Angeles Clippers: Okay, yeah, technically speaking the Clippers lost another game and dropped to 0-4 on the season. But they lost their first three games by double digits (10, 18 and 16 points)...and last night they lost by only 9 points. And last season, the Spurs beat the Clippers by an average of 22 points in four games, and never by fewer than 16...
...so this is progress!
Or maybe not. According to the AP recap, the Clips lost 25 of their last 26 games against the Spurs, including the last 17 in a row.
By the way, Blake Griffin is finding out what so many Clippers before him already knew: No matter how well a young star may play for them, the Clippers are going to lose most of their games. That's just the way it is.
Craig Smith: Early in the second quarter, Smith undercut San Antonio's George Hill on a layup attempt, taking him down and injuring his right shoulder. Smith was hit with a flagrant 2 foul and ejected. Mind you, the whole sequence started when Hill intercepted a pass by Smith.
Said Tony Parker: "It was dirty. Just a dirty play. That was dangerous. There's no need to do that." Remember: Parker is French. He knows dirty.
Hill was too hurt to shoot his free throws, which made him ineligible for the rest of the game. And it sounds like Hill has some whiplash.
Said Spurs coach Gregg Popovich: "It's his [trapezius] muscle. It's not like his shoulder's out of joint or out of place, I don't think. He's just stiff and he can't turn his head or his neck. It could take a while, but it could be a whole lot worse."
Vinny Del Negro, boring quote machine: "I liked Eric Gordon's aggressiveness tonight. He has the ability to be aggressive as a point guard. Eric Bledsoe worked hard and made some steals."
Baron Davis: Missed the game due to a sore left knee. Well, that didn't take long.
Worst Player of the Night: The Clippers bench. The Other L.A. Team's pine riders were outscored 32-7 by San Antonio's reserves. In fact, they were outscored 16-7 by Gary Neal. I know this may seem like a cop out, but when six players manage only 7 points on 3-for-13 shooting in a combined 56 minutes of lacktion...they're earning WPotN dishonors.
Lacktion Report: Chris somehow overcame the dizzying joy of watching his Paupers get to 3-1 to deliver our daily dose of lacktion:
Frail Blazers-Bulls: Fabricio Oberto found himself back in lacktion tonight with a 4:1 Voskuhl in 10:20, countering a rebound with three fouls and a giveaway.
Raptors-Kings: Antoine Wright celebrated a close Purple Pauper victory with one brick in 2;46 for a +1 suck differential!
Spurs-Clippers: DeJuan Blair barely made it into the mark of mediocrity as starting big man, turning out 5 rebounds in 19:45 but also fouling four times and losing the rock thricely for a 7:5 Voskuhl.
For the Clippers, DeAndre Jordan was deflated in 14:40 by five fouls and two giveaways eating at two rebounds, leading to a 7:2 Voskuhl. Meanwhile, Craig Smith and his foul/giveaway pair in 1:20 earned a +2.
Halloween Bonus Picture: Because you demanded it -- okay, because Wild Yams demanded it -- here's a picture of the Spartan Warrior costume I put together for Halloween. It's hard (if not impossible) to tell from this picture, but that's real leather armor, a steel helmet with a real horse hair plume, and brass vambraces. And that's Evil Ted as the Larry Bird circa 1986.
Oh, how I've missed you, Yao Ming (Via @jose3030) (Video version at Deadspin)
We're only one night into the season, and I'm already yawning and feeling braindead while writing this. Good to see I'm already in midseason form! Lots of material today, let's get to it.
Brief footbawful crossover: Lovie Smith sucks. Per Mike Lombardi, "Smith is among the worst replay-challenge coaches in the NFL; since 2009, only four of his 16 challenges have been overturned." Also, Lovie's logic for his botched challenge/no challenge sequence this past Sunday is pretty much the definition of footbawful.
And one last brief thing before get to the pics and previews. Here are a couple of my favorite NBA-related Twitter posts of the day.
Bobby_BigWheel: I switched from Celtics-Heat to the season premiere of 16 and Pregnant. I wanted to see more scoring.
bruce_arthur: At a Knicks shootaround. Seeing Eddy Curry is like spotting a whale, in more ways than one.
Worst of the Night in Pictures:
I reiterate: oh, how I've missed you, Yao Ming
It may look like an awkward position for man love, but LeBron and Paul Pierce certainly seem to be enjoying it
Our first photographic evidence of _efense this season!
(nature documentary guy voice) "When threatened with competition, the rare White Basketball Player will bare his teeth to show dominance"
Nationally Televised Games:
Bulls at Thunder, ESPN, 8pm: I'm glad this game is on national TV. Kevin Durant is appointment television viewing, as you have hopefully figured out by now. And I'm excited to see the revamped roster in action for the Bulls. You can read Bawful's full game preview at By the Horns since I'm sure he knows much more about the Bulls than I do.
Trail Blazers at Clippers, ESPN, 10:30pm: The Clippers on national TV? That's so sad, it can make an adorable bunny facepalm. See what you've done, Donald Sterling? You should be ashamed.
Celtics at Cavaliers, 7pm: The Celtics took down Cleveland's most hated man last night. Standing ovation from the Cleveland crowd, anyone? You know that's going to be the highlight of their season. Also, recommended reading: Trey Kirby from The Basketball Jones recently posted about Dan Gilbert's infamous Comic Sans letter that he does not regret.
Pistons at Nets, 7pm: You may be wondering why I didn't call them the Nyets. Well, I figured it's a new season and all, they deserve a fresh start, right? I mean, sure, they have a chance to suck again very soon, but they're going to start with a home win against the woeful Pistons, so I don't feel comfortable making fun of them until they lose.
Heat at 76ers, 7pm: Per the STATS LLC preview of this game, "The Sixers need forward Elton Brand to finally break out after two disappointing seasons since coming over from the Los Angeles Clippers." Yeah, good luck with that, Philly.
Knicks at Raptors, 7pm: Oh, Toronto. Over in hockey land, the Maple Leafs are -- beyond any reasonable explanation -- not godawful this year so far. Thankfully the Craptors are capable of carrying on the tradition of failure for what has lately been Loser City. Look, I don't want Toronto to continue to suck at basketball. I have nothing against their fans. However, I despise the Leafs, so I'll take what I can get right now. And when your team is based around Andrea Bargnani...
Bucks at Hornets, 8pm: Are we still supposed to Fear the Deer? I'm sorry, but I don't trust any Scott Skiles-coached team after the honeymoon period is over and the players start to resent him.
Kings at Timberwolves, 8pm: Oof. Ugly game. However, the constant potential for DeMarcus Cousins to lose his cool and strangle somebody makes pretty much every Purple Paupers game this year worth watching. (I look forward to him getting eight hundred technical fouls for my fantasy team this year while being a double-double machine.)
Hawks at Grizzlies, 8pm: Our first chance to see Larry Drew's new offensive scheme for the Hawks should be interesting. I don't expect much from the Hawks this year, but... "Memphis is 2-13 all-time in season openers, and has dropped nine straight since defeating Seattle to begin the 2000-01 season."
Bobcats at Mavericks, 8:30pm: Did you know Larry Brown is 70? That's almost as impressive as the Mavs winning 50+ games for 10 straight seasons, yet continually being worthless in the playoffs. Also, again citing the STATS LLC game preview, "The Bobcats, who waived Dampier and his $13 million non-guaranteed contract, still have a dynamic frontcourt with Stephen Jackson, Gerald Wallace and Boris Diaw." I think that sentence pretty much says it all.
Pacers at Spurs, 8:30pm: I will be the first to admit that the Spurs are getting old in a hurry (that's about the only thing they can do in a hurry at this point...). However, they just absolutely own the Pacers right now. The last time the Pacers won a game at San Antonio? January 4, 2002. That's just turrible.
Jazz at Nuggets, 9pm: An undertalented, overperforming Jazz team rocking their new old-school logo versus a sulking Melo? Awesome.
Finally! Opening Night is upon us! Savor this feeling and enjoy every minute of it since it's looking awfully likely that we'll see a lockout next year. Damnit. Hmmph... Guess I'll just have to watch football instead next year -- oh, wait...
The start of a new season naturally means new uniforms. And this year we even get treated to a completely new jersey style -- 27 teams are now wearing jerseys constructed from "engineered mesh," and uniform numbers are now made from a mesh fabric. Naturally, teams have made some alterations to their uniform designs, logos, and so forth. To get caught up on all the uniform changes this season, check out Paul Lukas' Uni Watch column. Highlights include the Cavaliers new super-boring uniforms, the Jazz have brought back the music-note, the Magic have a new alternate jersey, the Mavericks have changed the color of their road unis, the Warriors have badass new jerseys, and the Timberwolves have removed all the green from their uniforms. (To quote Lukas, "what's the point of depicting a tree line if you can't tell they're trees?")
Surprise, surprise. The Knicks may have broken NBA draft rules by conducting secret workouts of collegiate players for the past several years. What does it say about your organization if you can cheat and still suck?
Oh, and here's a completely random link that will ruin your shit for the rest of the day: The 10 weirdest physics facts, from relativity to quantum physics. Strangely enough, there is no mention of Tracy McGrady's legs being tired without having done any work to make them tired. I suppose that is one question that science still cannot even begin to comprehend.
Nationally Televised Games: Heat at Celtics, TNT, 8pm: What's that? It's only the first night of the season, yet you're already tired of hearing about King Crab's move to the Heat (like these guys)? Well, TNT, ESPN, and the rest of the national media have this to say:
What's truly sad is that I will still be interested in actually watching the Heat play this year, no matter how tired I get of hearing about them. Seeing Wade and LeBron work together will be entertaining, but I'm also just dying to see 37 year old Juwan Howard and 35 year old Zydrunas Ilgauskas protecting the paint.
Oh, and Mike Miller has a broken thumb. The Heat are doomed! Doooooooooooooomed!
Meanwhile, to nobody's surprise, the Celtics are planning to start Shaq at center against the Heat. Considering Jermaine O'Neal will probably pull a muscle and suffer a stress fracture drinking Gatorade on the sidelines, this move somehow makes sense. Then again, we'll just have to watch an ugly offensive effort as Shaq's glacial movements and gargantuan body clog the paint for Rajon Rondo. (Or, according to Chris, "more like clog his own arteries." Touché.)
Rockets at Lakers, TNT, 10:30pm: Thanks to Auto Draft, I have Kevin Martin on my fantasy team. Uggghh. I'm sure that will somehow bite me. Meanwhile, the Rockets should theoretically be on a bounce-back year after missing the playoffs last season. Yao Ming is finally kinda-sorta healthy again, and he will be playing limited minutes to help keep his feet from crumbling like a sandcastle in high tide. Of course it's pretty much a given that he'll still get hurt anyway, but one can dream, right? If nothing else, Rockets fans can play NBA 2K11 and watch in delight as Virtual Yao jumps for a rebound and has his head three feet above the rim. (Realism!)
The Lakers, on the other hand, are coming off their most recent championship. However, Adam Morrison is no longer with the team. This surely must mean their reign of championships is over. You HAVE to have somebody that can slap high fives on the sidelines while looking extraordinarily goofy, and other than Scalabrine, nobody does it as well as Morrison in today's NBA.
All The Other Games: Suns at Trail Blazers, 10:00pm: Well, Amar''''e Stoudemire is finally gone. Suns fans such as AnacondaHL and myself hoped they'd finally acquire someone who has the desire to crash the boards and snag a few rebounds. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Like a soccer mom buying in bulk (because you can never have too much ketchup even if you don't have a main course to put it on, apparently), the Suns have loaded up on small forwards instead of getting a solid big man. Hakim Warrick, Josh Childress, and Hedo Turkoglu? Come on! Did they have a "buy two, get one free" special or something? (Also, Turkoglu Turkododo is likewise on my fantasy team. Here's to hoping Steve Nash continues to be a miracle worker.) Meanwhile, coach Alvin Gentry says the Suns will continue to base their offense around the pick-and-roll, even though they don't really have a solid big man to get points in the pant. Expect lots of bricked long range jump shots coming off the screen. Hurray!
Fun fact of the day: Brandon Roy scored a career high 52 points at the Rose Garden back in December 2008 against the Phoenix Suns.
If you haven't done it already, you probably shouldn't bother
buying a Carmelo Anthony Denver Nuggets jersey.
The Denver Nuggets
The 2009-10 team wasn't the Enver Nuggets of the past, but they ranked a "meh" 16th in the league with a Defensive Rating of 107.5.
For the record, the league average was 107.6.
However, the Nuggets were a pretty strong offensive squad -- 3rd in Offensive Rating at 111.8 points per 100 possessions -- and they led the league in free throws per field goal attempt (.290). Still, this team had problems even before losing George Karl left the team to have cancer treatments. And I'm not just talking about Kenyon Martin's knee injury and cattle brandsexy lips tattoo.
Outside of Carmelo Anthony, Chauncey Billups and Nene, Denver simply wasn't all that talented (relative to contending teams) and the front office had squandered away all their cap space. There weren't many ways for last year's squad to get better. Or this year's squad for that matter.
Still, the Nuggets used their full mid-level exception on Al Harrington over the summer. Which should help, I guess. Oh, and they picked up Anthony Carter and Shelden Williams for the veteran's minimum. Those were decent bargain moves. Unfortunately, Martin is still on the mend and the Birdman is out with a knee injury of his own. Believe it or not, both of those guys were reasonably important.
However, Denver's biggest problem is the money they failed to spend, specifically what they offered Anthony in the form of a three-year contract extension.
As Tourettes Guy would say: The Nuggets are going to be out of the butt and into the f*** if they don't lock 'Melo into an extension. Which probably isn't going to happen. Ever. By all accounts, Anthony wants out of Denver. For all we know, he may be dreaming of teaming up with Amar''''''e Stoudemire and Chris Paul in New York. Whatever the case, Denver will most likely lose him one way or another, which radically increases the probability that he'll be dealt before February's trade deadline (assuming the Nuggets haven't somehow morphed into contenders).
If 'Melo finishes the season in Denver, the Nuggets will probably end up in the mid-to-upper 40s in terms of wins. If he doesn't, they'll finish in the mid-to-upper 40s in terms of losses. A trend that will likely continue unless they flip Anthony for some serious talent...something that rarely ever happens when a superstar is traded.
All of which means Nuggets fans will soon be joining a support group with Cavaliers and Raptors fans. I know it sucks, folks. Just hold hands and cry it out. It'll get better some day. I promise. (But not really.)
The Minnesota Timberwolves
At 15-67, the 2009-10 T-Wolves were the second-worst team in the NBA, barey ahead of the 12-70 Nets. And remember: New Jersey was one of the worst teams in league history.
Minny ranked 29th in Offensive Rating (ahead of only the Nets) and 28th in Defensive Rating (in front of only the Warriors and Raptors). I could quote many other factoids that highlight their woeful inability to play the sport of basketball -- like the fact that they had a worse point differential than the Nets and went freaking 2-27 after the All-Star break -- but let me just sum this up by saying the Timberwolves sucked serious hind end. I doubt anybody on last year's team will get the taste of sour ass out of their mouth for many years to come.
So how did GM David Kahn try to "fix" this mess over the summer? By giving away All Jefferson for nada and waaaaay overpaying for Darko "Manna from Heaven" Milicic ($20 million) and Luke Ridnour ($16 million). Holy crap, man! Why did owner Glen Taylor bother to fire Kevin McHale is he was going to let Kahn flush hundred dollar bills down the toilet one-by-one?!
That said, Kahn wisely hung onto Kevin Love, signed Nikola Pekovic (a talented overseas prospect) and Anthony Tolliver, and acquired Michael Beasley for a couple meaningless second round draft picks (read that: "for nothing"). Unfortunately, a small handful of moves that could be rated as "mildly kinda-sorta okay" won't change much on this moldering cess pool of a team. The reality is, a monkey could log onto ESPN's Trade Machine and immediately poop out a better team than this.
This team might be able to win 20 games or so. That's their ceiling.
Sorry, Minnesota fans.
The Oklahoma City Thunder
This young team is going to be really good for years to come. Which must feel like a groin punch to Seattle basketball fans everywhere. When their Sonics were raped away from them, at least they could take some solace in the fact that the team was terrible. Now? They're a top four team in the Bestern Conference.
Sorry, Seattle fans.
Last season, the Thunder won 50 games behind a solid defense (9th in Defensive Rating) and Kevin Durant's offense. The biggest concern for this team is the fact that they didn't do much of anything during the offseason. Instead of overspending for a free agent, management held onto their cap space, stockpiled draftees and draft picks, and acquired Mo Pete.
Okay, well, that's foward thinking. Or something. But the "tread water" approach rarely works for championship caliber teams, and it's hard to imagine it doing much for the Thunder.
That said, Oklahoma City did sign Durant to a five-year contract extension, and for all we know this kid could blow up again this season. If Durant plays like an MVP on steroids, the Thunder could certainly win another 45-50 games, qualify for the playoffs, and give some team a scare in the first and/or second round.
However, 2010-11 could also be a rude awakening for this team on the rise. I mean, will the Thunder stay as healthy as they did in 2009-10, when four of their five starters played all 82 games and all nine rotation players played at least 73? Will they be able to stand up to all the sky-high expectations now that opposing teams will be gunning for them? Can Kevin Durant really make a Second Leap right after last year's First Great Leap? Aren't we making a lot of assumptions about a team that overachieved and didn't improve at all over the summer?
The Thunder are getting a lot of buzz. But me, I'm wary. Very wary.
Last season, Portland ranked dead last in Pace Factor, averaging a feeble 87.7 possessions per 48 minutes. You'd think they were using canes and walkers or something.
You want their offensive formula? The Blazers isolate Brandon Roy, crash the boards, and take care of the basketball. That's what they do. It's actually really similar to what the Atlanta Hawks did with their iso-Joe offense. And I guess it worked well enough: Portland ranked 7th in Offensive Rating at 110.8 points per 100 possessions.
But, honestly, that system isn't going to win many playoff series. Sure enough, the Blazers were eliminated in round one by a well-balanced Phoenix Suns team.
Don't get me wrong, people. I'm not naysaying the Blazers. Just point out some facts, which most people just discard anyway. On the up side, Portland is young, deep and very talented. And don't forget: The Blazers managed to win 50 games last year despite an ongoing series of freaky-freak injuries, which included Joel Przybilla blowing out his knee twice (the second time while taking a shower) and coach Nate McMillan
What's more, the Blazers have $15 million in expiring contracts (assuming they don't pick up team options on Jerryd Bayless, Rudy Fernandez and Nicolas Batum), two first round draft picks and trade bait in Fernandez (who wants off the team and could be considered a difference maker by potential contenders around the trade deadline).
You're telling me this team can't get better? You're telling me that, assuming nobody suffers a major injury, that they couldn't win 50-55 games? Or put up a serious fight in the playoffs? And if Greg Oden stays healthy...
...buh...buh...buhbwahahahahahaha!! I keed, I keed. That's not going to happen.
Sorry, Blazers fans.
The Utah Jazz
During the offseason, Utah took a big hit when they lost Carlos Boozer, who's now busy being injured for the Bulls instead of the Jazz.
Still, they pulled of a major coup by getting Al Jefferson for next to nothing. Big Al can almost certainly cover most of what Boozer gave them: Namely, 20 points, 10 rebounds, and a porous defense that consists of either reaching matador-style or simply hacking first and asking questions later.
This highlights Utah's biggest problem: Interior defense. Asking Boozer and Mehmet Okur to protect the painted area is like handing Lindsay Lohan a bottle of Jack and a bag of drugs and asking her to keep them safe. It ain't gonna happen. And it didn't. Therefore, the Jazz had to rely on a slap-happy defense that ranked second in personal fouls (1,859) and a league-worst in opponents free throws per field goal attempt (.269).
Of course, they ranked 5th in defensive rebound percentage and 6th in opponents turnover rate. And they did rank 10th in Defensive Rating. so it wasn't all doom and gloom on the defensive end. If the Jazz can stop hacking, they could be a top five defensive squad.
And there's not much wrong with them offensively. They were tops in percentage of assisted field goals (67.8) 4th in effective field goal percentage (.524), 4th in Free Throws Per Field Goal Attempt (.252) and the 5th-best team in terms of turnover percentage (.142). That's a Jerry Sloan offense for you. It helps that Deron Williams is freaking awesome, and maybe the best or second-best point guard in the league.
On the downside, Okur is still recovering from a torn Achilles and Kyle Korver is playing for the Bulls, so Utah will begin the season minus their two best long-range shooters. That could hurt the offense. Plus, Al Jefferson -- who is still learning the system -- hurt his hand against the Lakers the other night. The team has little depth and less interior defense.
Still, this is the Jazz we're talking about. Sloan will get them to execute like crazy and play hard almost every night. They'll win 45-50 games and make the playoffs, where they'll probably make a first or second round exit. Unless they make some sort of deal to shore up their bench and/or add some beef up front, they won't be able to handle big teams like L.A. and Portland.
