Bawful After Dark: November 3, 2010

Robert Parish is not afraid to sweep the leg

(Via Andy Gray's SI Vault)
Here's your odd headline of the day, per JE Skeets: "Derrick Rose fails to show up to film cameo for 'The Good Wife'." According to the article:

The Bulls point guard refused to come out of his house in Chicago when the crew sent a car to pick him up on Tuesday morning, sources tell us.

Rose -- who helped the Bulls to victory over the Portland Trail Blazers at Chicago's United Center on Monday night -- also refused to give the show's producers an explanation for his no-show, even though they had him booked on a flight to New York, the source added.

Yes, Rose punking out at the last minute is crap, and I am dismayed that he couldn't show the decency to give them any advance warning or even just give them some kind of explanation. That being said, I'm pretty sure he just realized "I'm going to be on 'The Good Wife'? The Good Wife? Fuck that noise! I'm playing Xbox today."

Here's something Trey Kirby shared on his Twitter feed: ESPN's Josh Elliott and Amar''''e Stoudemire go head-to-head in a three point shootout using wads of paper and a trash can. I think you can predict who will win this one.

Amar''''e can't even create his own shot with friggin' wads of paper

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

The actual ESPN.com caption for this pic: "Tracy McGrady #1 and Rodney Stuckey #3 of the Detroit Pistons stalking during a game..." Quick! Someone call the cops!

Darko Milicic does not understand the finer points of "hand-in-the-face," such as, you know, getting your hand in his face...

Marcus Camby fights to avoid being sucked into the black hole that is Corey Maggette

A rare Wizards Generals win? This calls for some celebratory man love

"Just one little twist and I could be rid of Luke Walton forever..."

Crowd surfing -- you're doing it wrong, Boobie Gibson

Nationally Televised Games:
Bucks at Celtics, ESPN, 8pm: For the record, I really, really do not care about this whole Charlie V/KG spat. Wake me up when they actually throw down in a boxing ring. (If they do, I'm sure that the WBO will make it an interim title fight for a diamond belt, for a small sanctioning fee of course.)

Lakers at Kings, ESPN, 10:30pm: Well, the good news for the Purple Paupers is that they'll still be over .500 even after tonight's loss. Yay!

All The Other Games:
Pistons at Hawks, 7pm: Great. We get to have another day of the media getting overly excited about the Hawks after they beat a bottom-feeder. I can hardly contain my excitement.

Bobcats at Nyets, 7pm: The Bobcats are 0-3, but according to Stephen Jackson, "It's not panic time." Bobcats fans, however, beg to differ. Any time Stephen Jackson is one of your best players is, indeed, panic time.

Timberwolves at Magic, 7pm: Darko Milicic has a 1.9 PER through 84 minutes this season. As you watch Dwight Howard play opposite Darko, think of the things that David Kahn could have done with that $20 million: burn it; piss on it; acquire 44.4% of Mike Conley. It's a fun game. Certainly more fun than watching the Timberpups play.

Pacers at 76ers, 7pm: So the question must be asked... at what point do we have to keep an eye on the 76ers to be one of the worst teams of all time?

Hornets at Rockets, 8:30pm: Good news: the Rockets offense is averaging 110PPG. Bad news: the Rockets defense is allowing 117 PPG. In related news, the Rockets are 0-3.

Mavericks at Nuggets, 9pm: With injuries and all the Carmelo drama, it's almost been overlooked that Chauncey Billups is shooting a whopping 27.6% from the field right now. At what point do we just take him out back and put him out of his misery like Ol' Yeller?

Craptors at Jazz, 9pm: Deron Williams has never lost to the Dinos. This does not surprise me.

Spurs at Suns, 10pm: I don't know about you, but I still remember those epic Spurs/Suns playoff games from a few years ago whenever these two teams meet. However, considering all the roster turnover since then (especially in Phoenix), do the actual teams really care that much?

Also, Tim Duncan can potentially become the second-leading scorer in Spurs history after this game. Honestly, who on the Suns is going to stop him? Hedo? (Ball.)

Grizzlies at Warriors, 10:30pm: Stephen Curry is likely to miss this game with a bum ankle. Get ready for Monta Ellis to get a stupidly high usage rate in this game.

Thunder at Clippers, 10:30pm: OKC has struggled with their defense a little this season. Nice to know that won't be an issue tonight.