Bawful After Dark: November 2, 2010

"We've rented this fog machine for the whole night, and damnit, we're going to get our money's worth!"
Mike Conley got a contract extension from the Grizzlies to the tune of $45 million over five years, and Hardwood Paroxysm is not happy about it. In fact, he went on one of the greatest rants in Twitter history about it. Check this Tumblr page that was created specifically to save this rant for posterity's sake. Some highlights:

IT's MIKE CONLEY! HE CAN'T DRIBBLE! HE'S AN EFFING POINT GUARD THAT CAN'T DRIBBLE!
You literally gave twice as much money as Darko got for a player who is even worse at his position than Darko. You outdid Kahn.
You could have extended Thabeet for the max. Better move. You could have traded Z-Bo for Darko. Better move.

Yeah, I'd say he's just a little pissed off. (h/t teaguejd)

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Terrible news for the Bulls -- Carlos Boozer will be out 8 to 382 weeks after breaking his jaw and rupturing eight tendons after opening his mouth too wide

Shockingly, Luther Head didn't get a technical for turning his back toward the ref here!

Nationally Televised Games:
Grizzlies at Lakers, NBA TV, 10:30pm: Not the greatest way for the Grizzlies to start a four-games-in-five-nights roadtrip. I don't think the Lakers are going to let the Grizzlies get 22 steals like the Timberwolves did the other night. Just a gut feeling.

All The Other Games:
Hawks at Cavaliers, 7pm: Joe Johnson had this to say after his last game: "I'm a shooter. I've got to keep shooting." Indeed. I don't think the Hawks are paying him $124 million to not shoot.

76ers at Wizards Generals, 7pm: Holy crap the Sixers are bad. This game will be nearly unwatchable. Maybe the Sixers should temporarily be run by Red Klotz and renamed to the Shamrocks, Reds, Rockets, Seagulls, or Nationals.

Celtics at Pistons, 7:30pm: Shaq is hurt??? Impossible! Inconceivable!! In other news, wow. Rajon Rondo. Dude's just dropping dimes everwhere. He could find a way to get credited for an assist on a basket he shoots himself at this point I think.

Timberwolves at Heat, 7:30pm: The Heat's defense is just unreal right now. They're only allowing 80 points per game, and they haven't allowed a field goal to a starting forward in the last two contests. So, yeah, think I'm just gonna go ahead and mark down the Timberpups for their 14th straight road loss...

Magic at Knicks, 7:30pm: POSTPONED because it's raining asbestos! Congratulations on having such an up-to-date arena, New York. (Then again, it's probably just a time capsule from the last time the Knicks were relevant, so that's fairly appropriate) In related news, Eddy Curry will become the first player to be listed on a box score: "DNP (mesothelioma)."

Trail Blazers at Bucks, 8pm: The Blazers let Luol Deng go off for 40 points. I fully expect Corey Maggette to drop 60 on them tonight. That's not unreasonable, right?