Friday, 3 September 2010
PROFESSOR DAVID HUXLEY’S LABORIOUS, LICENTIOUS SPOTTED-LEOPARD LABOR DAY FILM QUIZ
I can’t give you anything but more film-related questions, Baby…!
According to the calendar summer is not officially over, but on the SLIFR campus the end of summer is always marked by the Labor Day Weekend, a three-day celebration of the fruits of the workers who have helped to shape this country. Well, I can’t say that the quizzes here at SLIFR have ever had anything so lofty as a tribute to the human spirit in mind, but the quizzes themselves are often laborious undertakings. As so it is with this latest edition, created and administered by SLIFR zoology expert and casual cross-dresser Professor David Huxley, who when he is not roaming the countryside decked out in a frilly bathrobe while searching for his bone can be found assembling the most fascinating skeletal structures of prehistoric creatures right here in the main lobby of the SLIFR Student Union and Geological Museum. Professor Huxley realizes that one is theoretically supposed to devote Labor Day to a scaling back of actual labor in favor of traditional fun and relaxation—it always meant carnival rides and demolition derbies when I was a kid. But with great education comes great responsibility, or great holiday sale prices, or something like that, and so Professor Huxley has decided that the students under his gilded wing are best left off spending their time with their noses to the grindstone. The following quiz has been composed to occupy your moments of relaxation and turn that idle Labor Day time into a teeth-gnashing, sweat-wringing marathon of mental effort. It’s either this of watching the Jerry Lewis Telethon.
A couple of procedural notes before we begin. First, No. 2 pencils only. If you are submitting your answers via computer, Professor Huxley has stated that he will accept your answers only if graphite from a No. 2 pencil is first smeared onto your fingertips before typing each response. Second, since Blogger has imposed a 4,096-character limit on responses, please do not feel that this translates into restricting your answers to short, easily consumable bites. The more the detail in your answers, the greater is Professor Huxley pleased, and you definitely want to make sure the guy swinging the jawbone of a triceratops is kept well pleased. Please feel free to break up your answers into two or more comment posts. If you have your own blog, you may also provide a link to your answers there. But whatever you do, please remember to cut and paste the questions and create your answers underneath the questions to that we all may more immediately see to which question your answer relates.
My own tardiness vis-a-vis these quizzes has never known bounds of any kind. The fact that I have yet to submit my own answers to the last quiz (and I had a couple of doozy answers which nobody has yet duplicated) speaks to my slovenliness and in no way should be taken as an acceptable example for quiz participation. I promise I will try to answer those last questions and these questions in a timely fashion… before Christmas. For the rest of you, as far as I am concerned there is no such thing as a late submission. Professor Huxley may feel differently, but if he does he has not yet expressed as much to me, so I feel like we’re in the clear here. Besides, I think right now he’s languishing in jail with that sprightly force of nature Susan Vance anyway, so what does he care if you’re a little late?
All right, No. 2 pencils at the ready. Open your Blue Books! Begin! (And many thanks to regular SLIFR reader Robert Fiore for suggesting some of the questions on this new quiz.)
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1) Classic film you most want to experience that has so far eluded you.
2) Greatest Criterion DVD/Blu-ray release ever
3) The Big Sleep or The Maltese Falcon?
4) Jason Bateman or Paul Rudd?
5) Best mother/child (male or female) movie star combo
6) Who are the Robert Mitchums and Ida Lupinos among working movie actors? Do modern parallels to such masculine and no-nonsense feminine stars even exist? If not, why not?
7) Favorite Preston Sturges movie
8) Odette Yustman or Mary Elizabeth Winstead?
9) Is there a movie that if you found out a partner or love interest loved (or didn't love) would qualify as a Relationship Deal Breaker?
10) Favorite DVD commentary
11) Movies most recently seen on DVD, Blu-ray and theatrically
12) Dirk Bogarde or Alan Bates?
13) Favorite DVD extra
14) Brian De Palma’s Scarface— yes or no?
15) Best comic moment from a horror film that is not a horror comedy (Young Frankenstein, Love At First Bite, et al.)
16) Jane Birkin or Edwige Fenech?
17) Favorite Wong Kar-wai movie
18) Best horrific moment from a comedy that is not a horror comedy
19) From 2010, a specific example of what movies are doing right…
20) Ryan Reynolds or Chris Evans?
21) Speculate about the future of online film writing. What’s next?
22) Roger Livesey or David Farrar?
23) Best father/child (male or female) movie star combo
24) Favorite Freddie Francis movie (as Director)
25) Bringing Up Baby or The Awful Truth?
26) Tina Fey or Kristen Wiig?
27) Name a stylistically important director and the best film that would have never been made without his/her influence.
28) Movie you’d most enjoy seeing remade and transplanted to a different culture (i.e. Yimou Zhang’s A Woman, a Gun and a Noodle Shop.)
29) Link to a picture/frame grab of a movie image that for you best illustrates bliss. Elaborate.
30) With a tip of that hat to Glenn Kenny, think of a just-slightly-inadequate alternate title for a famous movie. (Examples from GK: Fan Fiction; Boudu Relieved From Cramping; The Mild Imprecation of the Cat People)
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