{M-H-O} help me

hi, i m a silent member of MHO,i need a help of my this family,yaar i need a help can u plz help me,i really feel very much depressed.I got married last year in oct. my husband is a NRI,during courtship of our marriage he seems a different person what he actually proved after marriage.He talked about his friends about his job about so many things before marriage but he never talked about me,at that time i feel that may be he feel shy to talk about me as he don't have mother,he lost his mother 15 years ago nd he don't have a sister even,so i always thought that may be he don't know that how to talk with a girl bcz he never live with any female. after my marriage,i get noticed that he is very much love to talk with his friends nd with their wifes,on every topics,wether it is of social topic or a personal,he love to drink,he love to smoke,he love to go beyond the limits of the social bounds. but he didn't enjoy my company not even for the food,he love to spent his time with his friends,he start doing these by the first night of our marriage. he never bother about me,never ask for a food,never ask to have a little chat,never took me any were. then i got a calls from a lady who told me that he is not fair with me nd having physical relations with more then 5 girls,he even visit that areas,which i never want to spell even,but even then i didn't take any step bcz i feel that may be there is some1 who want to spoil my married life bcz during courtship i never found him like that,he never talk any cheep things to me,so i just ignored all the calls,he come back to his country of residence. although we file my documents to came along with him,my inner voice was always say that there is something wrong in the filed papers,nd that was true he filed a wrong papers when i said that that why u do this to me,he just said that he didn't do it intenshionly,it just a happen with mistake,even his father said the same,i found that his father is concerned about me,but he got helpless just bcz of his son,nd even he didn't know the pain of a girl bcz he lost his wife nd don't have a girl child so,even he don't know about the feeling of a girl,i just forgive both of them just bcz of respect of my family and bcz of his father.during my saty in india with my family i again get the same calls that lady know each and everything about my married life and she said that i m doing a wrong by making a blind faith in my husband,she ask me to check his profile status and this time i check my husbands profile status,i found that she is speaking a truth to me,then i made a call to my husband and told everything to him and ask him to come out with truth,he said that he loves me more then his life,this must be some kind of evil tricks made by some1 who wants to spoil his carrier or want to ruin our marriage,he said that he loves me nd loves me more then everything,he ask me to have a faith on him,i don't know why but i again trust him,but he again took more then four and half months to make any efforts regarding my visa by saying that he is very much busy with work,then i completely took the charge and do all the work by my own and i got my visa with in a 2 days,then i ask him to make some clearifications about my flight reservations,i just get surprised the he again come with excuses,then i talk to my father-in-law and i book my ticket and came to him. after coming here nothing changed,he always shouted at me,don't make any chat with me,he got physical problem due to the smoking and drinking but even then he don't want to leave these things and when ever i ask him to get rid of these things he just start shouting on me and abusing me,i use to cry always bcz i don't know that how to handle this.he love to spent his whole day with his friends,including girl friends,he went out for work by morning 9 o'clock his working hours are 9 to 6,but he always came to home by 11 and after coming home he start with the phone calls,some time he invite his friends during the 12 at night and keep busy with them late night,some times he just gone out of the house without telling me anything and use to come back by 2 or 3 o'clock and if i ask him that where was he,he just started again that make me cry again.some time he just insulted me a lot,i hate to be with him at that time but i m helpless bcz i can't able to tell any 1 about this,i m all alone here and i can't tell this to my family as they got hurt by this,they love me a lot,i don't want to feel them guilty as i just say yes for this marriage just bcz of my mother but i don't want to make feel her guilty,she got died if i tell her this,i don't want to loose her,i even didn't able to tell anything to my father-in-law bcz he is a heart pationt and as i told u he is concerend about me but he is helpless. PLEASE give some suggestion to me,as now its very much hard for me to lead this life,i don't know what to do,PLEASE help me,Please or will commit suiside....................... i don't want to live.....

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